I need a job. Nearly 23 years of life has netted a total of 12 weeks, and 4 days of gainful employment. In many countries I would have been killed long ago for my slothful behavior. Of course in America we give the perpetually lazy and jobless endless supplies of credit cards, constantly enticing them to spend money they do not have and most likely will never attain. (Unless by illegal means) My parents are fed up with my behavior, in particular the daily lack of drive that I demonstrate and perpetual unemployment. One could psychoanalyses why I do not want to work; some would argue (persuasively) a lack of childhood discipline and spoiled lifestyle. My take is that God blessed certain people with desire and a strong work ethic, others he gave blissful ignorance and willingness to do a job regardless of its means or end. A certain few were given the most precious gift of all, the compulsory desire to dissect and bitch about the state of everything while simultaneously having a strong apathy towards doing anything useful about it. Wonder which group I fall in? Well, if by miraculous chance anyone reads this, please email with possible job opportunities (especially those that pay exceedingly well for minimal effort).