I am posting a lot today in lieu of doing work for dad. You are very fortunate.

anyway, I just found the coolest thing ever. I am strongly considering buying an "imaginary" girlfriend, if only for shits and giggles. Alright, really I would buy one because I am a fat, lonely loser but still.

Go To Hell

Girl walks into the antique store. She isn't hideous so Bob flirts with her. Everything appears to be going well. She lives in her dad's basement, therefore, girl can't completely mock Bob's living arrangement. She teaches at a rural elementary, giving Bob an obvious intelligence advantage.

Bob is pretty happy as girl seems to be flirting back. Of course all is not well in Mudville because mighty Bob tries to say something witty. He attempts to say "Newark is not a thriving metropolis", but instead says "Newark is not a thriving metropoli poli poli sa ses." He tries again "metropolio so so so sas." He gives it one more shot "metra pole sa sa sus." Girl gives Bob a strange look, quickly pays for her item and leaves without saying so much as a goodbye.

Moral of the story: Bob is a stuttering, fucking moron.

Go to Hell

Donatos Pizza is absolutely, unequivocally SHITTY.

It cost $15.00 for a single topping large pizza, a 2-liter of coke, and some garlic bread. I would have been better putting the money in a blender and adding laxatives as the result would have been the same.

Go To Hell

I am done.

Go to Hell