Friday, February 06, 2004

Dad: I hope he (Maurice Clarett) breaks both his legs and can't play football again.
Bob: Isn't that a little harsh?
Dad: .......I hope he breaks one leg and can't play for a couple years.
Bob: That works for me.


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Tuesday, February 03, 2004

I enjoyed this column in the Advocate.

My response:

I rather enjoyed Ms. Gibson’s recent column , she made many heartfelt and well reasoned points concerning same sex marriage. I agree with and even support most of her assertions, but those same points do not prove that marriage is a right. In fact I would argue that this is the problem with the institution today.

People take marriage for granted. They believe it is an inalienable right, one that affords them the opportunity to marry whomever, whenever, and however often with minimal foresight of future consequences. Marriage should be treated as a serious undertaking and more importantly a momentous responsibility. It is the most meaningful act two people will participate in, except for parenthood, which should involve the former, but I will tackle one issue at a time.

I am not a legal expert, though it is readily apparent that same sex marriage is not directly addressed in the Federal Constitution or in the legal annals of most states. That is not a major issue since many legal rights, especially those dealing with equality, are inferred rather than specifically outlined. However, as I stated before marriage is less a right than a responsibility. Heterosexuals have sullied the sanctity of marriage. Quickie marriages, with even quicker divorces, are commonplace. Many folks marry based on superficial rationale, or simply on a whim, which inevitably leads to disaster. Yet allowing gay marriage because traditional joinings have failed miserably, is not a valid reason in of itself. Those who decry homosexual marriage as morally and legally reprehensible are not going to readily accept it because traditional marriage has failed.

The only reasonable , and with my limited understanding legal, means to sanctioned gay marriage is through he legislature. While, I may disagree with the position of Jay Hottinger, I do respect how he goes about implementing it. Rather then relying on judges to “make” new law, same sex marriage advocates should write their elected officials, especially those in the state and federal congress, and demand legal recognition of theirright to be responsible.

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Monday, February 02, 2004

CBS Note To Self

Perhaps leaving the halftime festivities to MTV was not a good idea. But, how could we have known? It is not like MTV productions regularly pushes the envelope of good taste and even, somewhat miraculously, offends their own jaded viewers. This was an unforeseeable occurence and we are in no way cupable, of course we will need to shred all the incrimnating internal memos that reveal how much we really knew beforehand. Thankfully it was not like the "slippage incident" overshadowed one of the greatest Super Bowls in recent memory. No, not at all.

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Wednesday, January 28, 2004

I am posting a lot today in lieu of doing work for dad. You are very fortunate.

anyway, I just found the coolest thing ever. I am strongly considering buying an "imaginary" girlfriend, if only for shits and giggles. Alright, really I would buy one because I am a fat, lonely loser but still.

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Girl walks into the antique store. She isn't hideous so Bob flirts with her. Everything appears to be going well. She lives in her dad's basement, therefore, girl can't completely mock Bob's living arrangement. She teaches at a rural elementary, giving Bob an obvious intelligence advantage.

Bob is pretty happy as girl seems to be flirting back. Of course all is not well in Mudville because mighty Bob tries to say something witty. He attempts to say "Newark is not a thriving metropolis", but instead says "Newark is not a thriving metropoli poli poli sa ses." He tries again "metropolio so so so sas." He gives it one more shot "metra pole sa sa sus." Girl gives Bob a strange look, quickly pays for her item and leaves without saying so much as a goodbye.

Moral of the story: Bob is a stuttering, fucking moron.

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Donatos Pizza is absolutely, unequivocally SHITTY.

It cost $15.00 for a single topping large pizza, a 2-liter of coke, and some garlic bread. I would have been better putting the money in a blender and adding laxatives as the result would have been the same.

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I am done.

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Saturday, January 24, 2004

The Passion Of Christ, Mel Gibson's biblical opus, has stirred a lot of controversy. No major distribution company would touch it due to the volatile subject matter. Of course, they have no problem producing films about Neo-Nazis, teen sex, serial killers, the holocaust and a variety of other touchy subjects. The film was picked up by an independent movie distribution company, who had little to lose and everything to gain through showing this film in wide release. I understand this movie is not for everyone, personally, I would rather read the Gospels then sit in a theatre for several hours listening to Aramaic and Latin. But, I do take issue with the groups who claim the movie to be anti-Semitic because of its source material.

I have not viewed the film; therefore, my information is based upon media reports. Usually, I am a reluctant to accept a third parties opinion but the reported polarizing views between Christians and Jews says quite a bit. Apparently, the movie takes the Gospels literally giving the impression that Jews betrayed Christ. Several high profile Jewish leaders took issue with this fact. Conversely, the reported impression, by Christian religious leaders, has been extremely positive. Why do they disagree? Christians believe in the sanctity and historical accuracy of the New Testament, Jews do not. Jewish Rabbis won't accept this movie; excuse the pun, as "Gospel Truth" because their faith doesn't coincide with it. That doesn't make the movie anti-Semitic; it simply makes it rooted in Christian scripture and theology.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

I spoke with the Miami graduate admissions liaison today. We spoke about the pedagogy of religion, what I would bring to the program and a variety of other bland topics. It was nice to learn that they only accept three students into the program every year. Even in such a specialized course of study as this the odds of only three students applying, including myself, is very rare. If four students apply, I am out. If three students and a monkey apply I am out again. Fuck, fuck fuckity fucker shit.

The week has started on a definite bad note.

While I am glad Dean had his pompous ass handed to him in Iowa, all is not well in the land of Oz. Mark my words John Edwards is the Communist Parties best hope to beat Bush. He is young, charismatic, from a southern state, and most importantly in league with the Devil, i.e. a lawyer. Sound familiar? He did extremely well in Iowa, all things considered, and really he is the biggest winner in that primary.

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Monday, January 19, 2004

I have found the heir to throne of the greatest movie ever made. I never thought that American Pie could be usurped, as it was the greatest piece of cinema ever created. I daresay it was guided by divinities own hand. However, if perfection can be bested Hugh Jackman would be the person to do it.

If only I could hibernate for five months, because the anticipation is slowly killing me.

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