I have seen the future of cinema. Soccer as a general rule sucks major ass. But, when combined with comedic kung fu styling the sport of English fairies transforms into something truly remarkable. Today is only the third time I have ever laughed so hard that I cried. The first two occasions involved freshman pledges, whip cream and a small puppy named Timmy. It is hard to believe that a sixty second movie preview could have such an effect, but never doubt the power of overweight Shaolin monks, a hot bald Asian chick and black dragon bicycle kicks. I am actually giddy with anticipation.

everyone to go see this movie August 8th

because if you don't

you can

go to hell