Ok, maybe I exaggerated a wee bit about my relative position in life. Though, it really doesn't matter. Juxtaposing ones self worth against the accomplishment of others is fool hardy. I need to judge life against my own expectations. I am not a total failure. But, I am not a resounding success either. The more I think about it my greatest fear is failing. Whether it concerns work, friends, family, leisure or love I am so afraid of rejection that any opportunity for success or happiness is precluded. In other words I have chosen to do nothing at all with my life rather then chance any sort of failure. Obviously, as usual, my logic is skewed. Greatness affords itself to only those willing to face utter despair. Enough with this nonsensical doublespeak, I am starting to make myself think.

I am very fortunate to have people who do care about me. Whether or not it is deserved I can't say but I do greatly appreciate it.

Oh by the way I did start the new job. I am not going to comment about it, because I want to maintain a positive attitude. Though, today amongst the other trainees was the first time I ever actually felt old. Half the damn room just graduated high school. Now I know college is a stupid idea. Could have become a collections agent straight out of diapers it seems.

oh well it could be worse. At least I am not cursed with lycanthrope and subsequently forced to live a life in sin practicing the furry fetish.


go to hell