My ass still itches. I tried to set up a doctor’s appointment, and boy was that ever a fun experience. I tried to delicately detail my condition to a young nurse aid via the telephone. She asked "Can you see what the problem is?" and of course I had to inform him that it was nearly impossible for me to look in between my butt cheeks. The hilarity didn't end there though. After revealing my "condition" it was time to set up an appointment. However, I found out that it would be impossible for me to see the doctor since I had a delinquent bill. To be precise, I was not allowed to see the doctor under no circumstances.....WHAT THE FUCK??? I wanted to cry, not only did I have to discuss an itchy rectum with a young lady but also had to be informed I am a deadbeat who is not welcome at the premises under no circumstances whatsoever. FUCKING HORSE SHIT. I politely excused myself from the phone, and proceeded to question my father as to why I had a delinquent balance due to my doctor. My father did not know but stated in no uncertain terms it was my responsibility and he had more important things to worry about it. MY ASS FEELS LIKE A LEGION OF ANTS HAS TAKEN PERMANENT RESIDENCE UPON IT AND I CAN'T SEE MY DOCTOR BECAUSE I OWE HIM MONEY AND DAD DOESN'T THINK IT IS A BIG DEAL.................fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Upon further reflection, and a subsequent call back to the doctors billing department I discovered that the bill in question should have been covered by my insurance at the time. Yet, for some reason my insurance company had me down as being married to my mother, born on my birth date but father to my little brother. In other words according to them I was part of a twisted incestual mess, which would be fine if they still covered my fucking doctor's visit. That is/was not the case, since they have me confused, in part, with my father they had me listed on his policy. Again if they paid the bill that would be fine, BUT NOOOOOOO THAT WOULD BE TOO EASY. In order to be covered under my father's plan I had to demonstrate collegiate attendance. Yet again that would be fine except the doctor's visit in question occurred one month after my graduation. Complicating things further I am no longer covered by the aforementioned insurance agency for other reasons/incompetence. Basically I am fucked, and have to pay the bill. With interest it is only sixty-five dollars so it is not a huge deal and actually one that I could even afford to pay myself. The problem is in order to pay it I have to go into the doctor's office, and after this circus I really never want to show my face there again. Furthermore even if I do pay there is no guarantee that the doctor will see me, as the billing agent inferred that our "business" relationship was all but severed. And, since the account was over a year late it had reported to one/all of the credit bureaus........


Boys and girls I am an asshole, and for the most part I have reaped what I sowed in this life. But, Jesus Christ there is bad karma and there is situation. God/Krishna/Satan/Azhamda/Babli/My Mom/Buffy must really hate me....... I officially give up. My only options left are to the do ignoble thing and shoot all you fuckers or be noble and fall on my own butter knife.


In other words

GO TO HELL


P.S.

IF TODAYS FREQUENT USE OF CAPS LOCK OFFENDS
GO TO HELL

IF YOU FIND MY LACK OF GRAMMER DISHEARTENING
FUCKING SHOOT YOURsELF IN THE HEAD

AND IF FOR WHAT EVER REASON YOU HAVE A HARD TIME FOLLOWING TODAY’S POST
GO TO HELL, FUCKING SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE HEAD AND KNOW THAT I HATE YOU VERY MUCH.