I participated in a charity auction yesterday. It raised money for some artsy, fartsy festival downtown. Since most of the city is either illiterate or retarded I was surprised by the interest generated by the event. I am not sure what the final tally was, but at last count they made over $7,500, which was way beyond their expectations. As usual I did a fantastic job; perhaps auctioning truly is my calling in life. Then again I am still leaning towards becoming a serial killer when I grow up.

A couple weeks ago I started to really miss my ex-girlfriend(s). It was nice having someone to hold, take out to dinner, watch movies and dry hump. Of course those times are over and unlikely to happen again. At least I have my hamster to keep me company.

The following is directed towards all of you fine folk who find themselves in healthy, happy, loving relationships.

Go directly to hell, do not pass go and make damn sure to stick a rusty fork up your collective asses.

Oh and I envy you all very much.

Go to hell