I am lonely. I need to be loved, held and cuddled. I am looking for a girl who can take care of these needs. I don't mind if you are fat, stupid, ugly, retarded, or even smelly. In fact those qualities might actually endear you to me since all my needs are supplemented by a great desire to feel superior to others.
If the thought of being Bob's love-doll doesn't disgust you please contact me.

Jews need not apply since they are all hell-bound heathens.

I kid.

Ok not really but I don't want anyone thinking I am an anti-Semite like my friend Pete.

(Inside Joke that isn't terribly funny but even a cheap laugh is worth alienating all the moneylenders and Hollywood producers of the world)


Go to Hell

(Where I will be very soon)

(Using () to denote unrelated material, whimiscal insights and retarded sentiments is annoying I need to stop)

(But I won't)

(So)

(Go To Hell)

(God I am brilliant (not so much brilliant but definitely gifted(in a little yellowbus sort of way(waited that doesn't even make since. retards are "special" not gifted)))