I hung out with the little brother today. We actually had a great conversation, which is saying a lot when dealing with an eight year old. The subject matter was a little heady but he managed to make some great points. What was the discussion about? Who could kick whose ass. Primarily we focused on which superhero, mythical character or religious icon would win in a fight but my ass kicking ability, or lack thereof, was also talked about.

Eventually we concluded that God could kick everyone’s ass, including his own. That isn't much of a surprise since the Almighty has absolute and complete power over existence. However; the real debate concerned who is the second most powerful entity in the universe. After much thought, careful consideration and copious amounts of Mt. Dew we chose Batman. I know it appears to be a controversial choice but is it really? Batman has no superpowers but somehow manages to routinely defeat super villains, gangsters, immortal eco-terrorists and has even managed to kick Superman's ass on a few occasions. He is the quintessential bad ass and more importantly, the original man in black. Honestly, if given enough time and the creative license of a comic book writer, Bats could give God a run for his money.

Bruce Wayne v. John Wayne
No contest. He might be the duke but he ain't got nuttin on the black knight, one well placed batarang and it is over.

Batman v. Joker v. Aliens v. Predator
Actually an absolutely fantastic short film addresses this match up.

Batman v. Godzilla
This would be a tremendous battle but even the king of all monsters can't stop the bat chop.

Batman v. all mankind
Brilliant scientist, check. Nearly endless pool of funds, check. Access to rare and deadly chemicals, viruses and weapons, check. End of all human life, check.


Batman v. Demeris (my personal middle school bully)
Batman would whoop his ass.


Go to Hell