Stop Signs Just Get in the Way

We should strip him of the eight Olympic medals. There was a time when murder was the most heinous of crimes, but no longer: Driving under the Influence is the vilest crime any person can commit. Murder a nun, you can be rehabilitated; run a stop sign after drinking a few beers, you get the electric chair. It is good to see that our priorities are in order.

By the way, I don't condone drinking while intoxicated, nor do I condone driving while text messaging, driving while suffering from sleep deprivation or driving while receiving oral sex. Actually, I do condone the last one when it involves me and a girl, not a goat.

Anyway, I am all for the demonization of criminals, but we should stick with the forlorn reefer advocates and leave the drunkards alone.

For those of you who may one day hire or arrest me: I, Bob, have never participated in or been privy to any actual occurrences of driving while intoxicated. Furthermore, I never humped a girl’s leg while she was fast asleep.

Go to Hell