The Meaning of Friendship

Friend: You know Bob, you are looking a little overweight. You need to be active, to do something with yourself.

Me: I am touched.

Friend: What?

Me: You are the first person to ever call me a "little overweight." Usually they just call me fat ass and wish me a good day.

Friend: You need help.

Me: Not when I have concerned friends like you, asshole.

Go to Hell