While at work, I surfed the web for a fair amount of time. There is a lot of information on the internet, though most of it does seem to be centered on penile enlargement and naked teenage coeds. Believe it or not both of those topics are near and dear to my heart. Go figure. Eventually, I found my way to a website that started to make my head spin. Not because it was interesting or in anyway beneficial. No, what amazed me was how utterly useless my college degree was, I would have been better off working as fry cook for 4 years. Because by this point I would at least be assistant-head fryer. It seems graduate schools in Ohio frown upon a BA in Religion; subsequently they do not offer admittance. Furthermore, in order to ever earn a post-bachelor degree, I have two options. I could develop a cure for cancer then sell the rights to the Chinese for a hefty profit, and give that sizeable sum to a local university who in turn will offer me an honorary doctorate. Or, I could just start over and begin college anew.
Guess which one I will choose? So, as of right now (plans will probably change at least 3 times by the time you read this) I plan on getting a job, going back to get another undergraduate degree. This time I will apply myself, earn stellar marks, and graduate with honors. And, with all these collegiate accolades my dream school Cleveland State University will have to accept me into their graduate African-American studies program.


It is a good plan, or so I thought at 3:00 pm. Wish me luck, well actually don't since you disgust me.

instead

go to hell