Monday's suck, almost as much as my ex-girlfriend. Damn she was like a Hoover vacuum cleaner (or at least that is what those 10 guys at the bar told me). Anyway not lot news today, just the same pervading feeling of utter failure and desolation.

I went to bed at 7:00 am, woke up at 10:00 am, pretended to work for 3 hours, went home, and watched cartoons. Actually that pretty much sums how I spent the last decade. It is hell being me.

After eating a sub, a salad, a few loaves of cheesy bread, and a couple sodas for lunch, my dad decided to share a valuable pearl of wisdom. It seems that I need to realize what it means to value things, i.e. struggle to pay the rent, bills, etc. While defecating a few minutes later, and trying my damnest to push one out (and women claim men know nothing about pain, I guarantee my 10 lb bundle of joy would give theirs a run for its money) my dad's wise counsel echoed in my head. And, even though I live in a dumpy, 40 year old trailer in the worst part of a universally accepted hell-hole/city, everything is provided for me. Now, I don't have a silver spoon, more like a plastic spork, but my greatest life struggle thus far has been figuring out which relative to kill off next so I wouldn't fail class. Therefore I make a solemn pledge before all of you and our
ball-less Lord to try my best to learn the value in struggle & strife. Where I once made my mother call for pizza delivery, I vow to do the dialing, and even the ordering myself

Perhaps one day, with concerted effort, I will appreciate my palatial like mobile home,
40 % body fat content, and ever thickening uni-brow. How lucky can a guy get?



as usual

go to hell