I am the hamster god. The littler critter worships me. Every time I put food in the cage Hamster, which is the hamster's name, carefully sniffs my fingers and watches me with unabashed admiration. Sometimes I catch him starting in my direction, as if his saying with eyes Bob is the most masterful of masters. I should go to the pet store and purchase more potential disciples. The human world may very well have forsaken me but Hamster knows the truth. His admiration leads to my adulation. Who knew that deification could lead to such happiness.

Go to Hell

unless you are a small furry rodent