Alltel Publishing's customer service department, which I believe consists of an albino,a midget and a Puerto Rican pimp, has deemed my complaint unimportant. In fact they went as far as to say that I should be happy they are not billing me. Of course since they failed to render the service, we contractually agreed upon, I wasn't really expecting to pay them anything. Honestly, at this point they can't do anything about not publishing my ad in the Yellow Pages, nor can they make up for the thousands of dollars in lost business this very well may cause, but they could at least be courteous, return my phone calls and at least pretend to care about their mistake.

I could sue them, and would probably win. I have several contracts, signed by their representatives, stating when, where and how my ad would be placed. They simply forgot the when, where and how part. But, even if I did win a small settlement, would they ever pay? Probably not. They are a very large company, with tens of millions of dollars in assets, and could care less about a marginal judgment rendered against them in small claims court.

Now, I have considered blowing up their corporate office, hunting down the children of all the senior executives and bludgeoning them to death with the Alltel Phone Book, but that course of actions seems a little extreme.

Maybe I will just piss on the doorstep of their local office and set a stack of their phone books aflame creating a burning effigy of my hatred. I like that idea.

Go to Hell