Tuesday, August 26, 2003

The E channel is the second greatest television experience available, next to of course my precious cartoon network. True Hollywood Story is E's staple show. It is an incredibly vapid, mind numbing and yes entertaining as hell serial. Tonight the show exceeded even its low standards and presented The Real World True Hollywood Story. First and foremost the continual success of The Real World is the third sign of the apocalypse. Of course we are all relatively safe because the next harbinger of doom is nearly impossible. There is no way identical twin alien headed child stars of a formulaic family sitcom would earn several hundred million dollars hocking abysmal direct- to-video releases to pedophiles and/or 10 year old girls. Anyway, as I was saying we are all severally fucked. I am all for low brow television full of T & A (Teats and Arse) but even the retarded pervert living within me has its limits. At least I had shows like ALF, Growing Pains and Doogie Howser MD to shape my young mind. The children of today are feed a steady diet of beautiful retards fucking like rabbits. Where will our children find their role models if not on television? Parents could of course set the standard, but seriously who wants to grow to beat their wife like their daddy or suck off the mailman like mommy does. Cable television needs to raise the bar for our children and children's children.

Anyway I am off to watch Passport to Paris. Now that’s cinema at its finest. Beautiful nubile twins romping through the streets of gay Paris. Tonight will be very enjoyable.


go to hell

Saturday, August 23, 2003

I went to bed Friday morning at 8:30am. Woke up at 9:15pm Friday night. Yesterday evening I ate White Castle. Tonight I ate Taco Bell. What does all this mean? Am I a lazy fat bastard? Do I now prefer using simple, short sentences? Or, is their a government conspiracy forcing me to sleep during day, stay up all through the night watching Poltergeist the Legacy and eat heart attacking inducing fast food? Who knows but I do have a serious case of tooten poopens.

While checking my voicemail it appears that my father's auction may now be a no go. The auctioneer we were working with seems to have developed cold feet. This is a bad thing, since the two auctions we had thus far were a modest success. However, if the proverbial shit does hit the fan it might be a real opportunity for me. I need to get a life which first requires moving out of Newark, Ohio. First of all I don't have anything against my place of birth. In fact beyond the fact that it resides in the outer layers of Hell it ain't such a bad place. I am glad to have spent most of my formative years here rather then a thriving urban metropolis. There I would have become cultured, meaning being indoctrinated into a neo bourgeoisie lifestyle. In other words being an uncouth, unsophisticated jack ass is definitely the product of my environment and thank God for it. Anyway, growing up is hard to do but sometime we all have to do it. I have insulated myself from the world, often dismissing it as meaningless and trivial. Yet, in actuality there is so much living to be done and really so little time. It is high time I quit bemoaning my miserable existence, take control of my fate and go do something.

Then again being mature and self reliant sounds like a lot of work, not to mention requiring and untold amount of dedication. I am just going to take a shit instead.


go to hell

Thursday, August 21, 2003

Day 2 of being unemployed. Stayed up till 6am last night and woke up at 5pm, oh how I missed those times. I applied to a couple places and hopefully will get a call soon. The only positive from my short stint in the working world was the realization that I do need to work. Spending my day wallowing in Doritos crumbs surrounded by a mountain of Pepsi cans is no way to live. Due to my lack of skills and under abundance of "real" jobs (jobs being defined as a profession that does not cause blood to leak from my ears). Enough talk about me and my pathetic life, today I was hoping to have an engaging dialogue with all of you. First of all let me reiterate how much I have missed all seven of you who read this blog. Most of you I know in real life, but as you well know actual human interaction pails in comparison to reading each others daily logs. The couple of you who don't know me personally will find the following very disheartening. You haven't lived until witnessing a 240 lb man sitting crossed legged for hours at a time. Here is the deal usually I rant and rave with little concern for those who later read it, but today I am trying something different. I want everyone reading this to take a couple minutes and post a comment today on the following subject. What pisses you the fuck off? Some may find this question a little vague, so in order to prevent undue confusion I will further clarify. What really pisses you the fuck off?

It is my sincere hope that this subject will open up an impressive dialogue between us, one that allows for a better understanding of all people. That and I am too lazy to bitch today.


Go to hell

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

I am back, long time no see. I wonder how everyone has been since I last posted. Hopefully everyone has felt as bad as me. I spent seven weeks working for Satan. The job was humiliating enough, collecting money from people is only slightly more rewarding then performing telemarketing cold calls. The real kicker was when I convinced an elderly woman to pay her credit card bill instead of the mortgage. That occurred several weeks ago, and ever since I have felt absolutely wretched. On the one hand knowing I still have a conscious is a good thing, however as usual it served as a major hindrance in my personal development. How will I ever reach the top of the business world with this incessant feeling of guilt holding me down. Of course I long ago rationalized the morality of child slavery, so all is not lost.

Baring any other major life changes, i.e. another job, going back to school, or least likely of all a girlfriend my posts should once again be fairly frequent. I feel very much alive today, much more so then in weeks past, which means I have a lot to bitch about before sinking back into my usual morose state of mediocrity.


By the way

GO TO HELL