Monday, April 21, 2003

Women you can't live with them and you can't have heterosexual sex without them. So, what is a boy to do? Well, personally I have sworn off all women and now am only interested in bettering myself. Through intensive interpersonal exploration I will discover what is important in life, and dedicate myself to that noble end. And, if that doesn't work out I will download some porn and reassert my dominance over those damnable cyber vixens.

So, last night I started my sojourn towards personal liberation and calculated my debt to income ratio. Guess what, I have a lot more debt then income. Of course my lack of gainful employment might be a mitigating factor. God I am poor. I have nearly $25,000 in debt, and not a damn thing to show for it. I could have at least blown some of it on drugs, whores and a nice car. Well, actually I did spend a sizeable chunk on whores.....so all is not lost. Anyway, I need a way to make a lot of money, because step one for personal liberation, is too leave all my worldly debts behind. Therefore I was wondering if the three our four people who read my posts would kindly loan me several thousand dollars each. I promise to pay back, either in spiritual enlightenment or hot steamy man-ape loving. By giving me money you will start a domino effect, as I will take your kindness and share it with the world. By giving me your life savings you will help change the world. Or, at the very least provide me one night with Big Bosomed Bambi...... Remember one person can make a difference, and in this case one person giving me thousands of dollars would in fact make a huge difference.

Well I got to go sell plasma,

Oh and if by chance you decide not to give me your money,

GO TO HELL