Monday, January 10, 2005

He has a point

Little Brother: Petey (the family mutt--who, by the way, takes great delight in urinating on my discarded clothing) is worthless. He can't do anything.

Me: He can jump up onto the bed, which is pretty impressive considering his diminutive size.

Little Brother: What does diminutive mean?

Me: I think it means small, if not, well, it does now.

Little Brother: Ok. You know, Petey is half white and black.

Me: What? I don't follow.

Little Brother: Petey is half black, which means he can jump.

Me: Issy! You shouldn't say that.

Little Brother: It is true--white guys can't jump.

Me: That isn't true. There are plenty of white guys who can jump.

Little Brother: Name one.

Me: ...Well....umm...I am not the right person to ask. I would say to ask dad, but he would probably end up explaining instead how white people play basketball, while black people play jungle ball.

Little Brother: You are stupid.

Me: No argument here.

Go to Hell

Author's Note: I was shocked to learn that white men can, in fact, jump. Stefan Holm, 2004 Olympic High Jump Champion, is a living testimonial to this fact; however, he is from Sweden--which doesn't strictly count. The Swedes are a little too dark to be considered white; I think the term white with an asterisk is applicable in their case. Nonetheless, I, a gravity-bound white guy, will take what I can get.