While looking around the trailer today I finally came to terms with a very serious issue. I am a dirty butt. As of five minutes ago there were a couple dozen rolled up paper towel sheets that happened to be caked in mucus. Empty soda cans litter every possible surface area. There is a strange and pungent odor emanating from the kitchen which must be due in small part to the pile of unwashed dishes. I won't even mention the condition of the bathroom; let’s just say my little brother and father refuse to use it, even only to urinate. What I need is a cheap housekeeper, preferably cute, female and very easy. If there are any takers please feel free to message me.
Talking about human filth is a perfect segue into today's main topic lesbian meter maids. Somewhere along the line a brain-dead walking talking validation for the morning after pill came up with the idea of having a two hour limit on the spaces downtown. The community that I call home/hell deems it necessary to employ three women to walk around the designated area and give out five dollar parking tickets. During the past ten years my dad's store has been located in their ticketing zone he has paid several thousand dollars in fines. That money could have been used to pay my way through college, get me a new car or to blow on cheap whores and expensive champagne. But NO it was used to justify the existence of the gorgon sisters. My dad is not bothered by this loss of money; he accepts the law at face value and quietly pays the consequences. On the other hand I am infuriated because said monies should be wasted on me and not the city government.
However, even I am willing to endure stupid laws and city ordinances. One would have an easier time discovering the means to perpetual motion then eliminating all stupidity from local legislation. Yet, I do take issue with the stupid laws being implemented unfairly. It seems the aforementioned carpet lickers do not give out parking violations to everyone. Point in fact the women who work next door at the jewelry store never find a little orange ticket on their windshield. You know why? They flirt with dykesareus on a regular basis. In other words the jewelry whores and vaginavores have a repartee between them. Isn't there a law about equal protection under the law, oh wait a minute that doesn't apply to heterosexual white fat men with chips on their shoulders.
If my story stopped here my anger would easily be justified. There is another group who regularly violate the downtown parking ordinance. City employees are allowed to apply for permanent parking passes when applicable to their situation (i.e. handicapped, obese, really fucking ugly), which on the surface is fine. Though they do have a multilevel parking garage made specifically for city employees a couple blocks down. Oddly enough that doesn't get used. Problem is they are able to continually apply for passes and hand them out to friends, family, the child molester next door etc. The city has no means to track the number of passes given out. Monday through Friday it is nearly impossible to find a space between 10am and 5pm. Several hundred spaces are no where to be seen. Saturday and Sunday during the same hours a couple dozen cars are littered around the area. What pray tell is the difference? The city employees, wives, and judge's illegitimate children are all at home admiring their ill-gotten parking passes and laughing all the while. So, either my city/county has bureaucratic numbers that put D.C. to shame or there are lots or the alternative where a few dozen city workers share, give and sell their easily obtained parking gold.
The lesson we learn from the above post is the necessity for intolerance when dealing with ugly lesbian meter maids and stupid city officials. I once witnessed a gentleman, of obvious redneck origin, nearly run over one the meter monsters. He nearly committed vehicular homicide to prevent getting a five-dollar ticket.
Good to know hope is still alive.
go to hell
