Wednesday, September 10, 2003

I am fat. No, actually I am morbidly obese. No, I am wrong again. Bob is a fucking lard ass. I stepped on the scales yesterday and felt like I was in a Garfield cartoon. The digital scale seemed to moan before revealing that I weigh more then a baby elephant. Living la vida gorda has been fun but it is time for a change. Of course I have already made similar sentiments several times since starting this Blog, but hell who knows maybe I will luck out and develop intestinal cancer. We can hope.

There is so much to talk about, and I have so little inclination to do so. Someone discovered my AOL IM name and felt the need to mock me. Usually, I wouldn't give two shits however this time it was personal. Whoever has been messaging me really knows how to push my buttons. He/She/It/Cocksucker knew my intimate insecurities, mainly my lack of writing talent. Obviously I am a brilliant writer, albeit a little rough around the edges. My editing skills leave much to be desired, yet Bob's style and substance more then make up for grammatical weakness. Nonetheless, I was forced to block this person's messages as they were taking a toll. You may ask, what does this mean to me? Or, more to the point why the fuck do I care? It means my confidence, concerning writing, was severely rocked. In other words instead of posting on my blog, or more importantly fleshing out an idea I had for a novella, Bob decided to be a bitch and sulk. Well screw that shit. Mes, mights, write; like a fcknig fours yar eld but I am still a witty son of a bitch. So, baring further emotional breakdowns my post should once again be fairly frequent. Also, I am toying with the idea of embracing my inner twelve year old girl and adding a creative writing section to the site. God, I am a little bitch. My manly factor has dipped to dangerous levels. Need to go look at some porn, eat pizza and masturbate into a watermelon.

By the way my favorite British Sex Kitten is visiting the States once again, so yes Virginia there really is a Santa Claus. Hopefully she will honor Ohio with her presence. A boy can hope.

Go to hell joe12533