Tuesday, June 01, 2004

I am extremely displeased at the moment. Apparently, I, just like Courtney Love, never learn. And, unlike that crazy whore, I can't blame my poor decision making process on chemical dependency. No, I am just really fucking stupid. Whereas there are thousands of support groups for weak-willed people, whom make wrong headed choices, I haven't found one yet for those, i.e. me, who choose with the wrong head. One can argue that I am not unique in this manner, as many men live by the skin of their scrotum, but unlike most others, I am complete and utter bitch. Chalk it up to a domineering mother, lack of meaningful inter-gender interaction during my formative years or too much Mountain Dew, regardless the result is the same; I am a slave to the putang, minus the putang part.

Problem is I would rather cuddle with the objects of my affections then ravage their nubile bodies. Why? I am a stupid bitch. Somewhere along the line sex and love became synonymous in my book, which is totally acceptable if I am a fourteen year old girl living in the Bible belt. Sadly this not the case therefore it is necessary for me, Bob, to divorce the two concepts. Thus far I haven't really come up with a workable solution, hence the origin of today's post. However; I do have a rudimentary understanding of what differentiates love from sex. Sex is the appropriate term when dealing with dirty whores, while love is applicable for the woman you marry. Problem is, at least in the United States, I can only marry one woman. Based upon my theory, there is one virtuous Mrs. Bob out there, with the other one-hundred fifty million ladies being evil sluts sent here by Shaitan to humiliate torture and emotionally rape me.

Since, I am a stupid bitch, with a carrier load of issues, there is little I can do. Chemical castration is always an option. And, as an added bonus, the little girls down the street would be able to play outside. Of course I could always forego women altogether and devote my life to spiritual enlightenment. Buddha Bob does have a nice ring to it. Then again I might just stick to my earlier birthday resolution and hire a whore. Don’t worry I still plan on berating the bitch but would work in a couple minutes for her to suckonmyboner.

After reading this can any of you believe I am single?

Go to Hell