Tuesday, December 07, 2004

George Herman Ruth was a drunk, a womanizer and overly fond of greasy food; but he wasn't a cheating bitch.

It appears that Major League Baseball is going to develop a comprehensive steroid abuse policy. I would like to think the Player's Union and Team Owners came to this decision out of love for the game; of course, potential legislation by the likes of John McCain probably helped the process along. My only concern--actually, it is more of a thought, really--is why in the fuck is this even an issue.

Steroids are illegal. There are hundreds of federal, state and local laws that prohibit the sell, distribution and use of illegal steroids. In other words, it is against the FUCKING LAW to use S T E R O I D S. MLB--god love its corrupt soul--is not now, or has ever been, excluded from these legal mandates. McCain shouldn't have threatened new legislation; he should simply have called the appropriate law enforcement authorities. Let them set up a few stings, arrest a few dozen players, and imprison the ones who aren't willing to reveal who gave them the steroids.

I don’t care if someone uses illegal drugs, as long as you don't bitch about the consequences--jail, prostitution, retardation, anal rape and genital warts. Major League Baseball players are welcome to use steroids; in fact, I am all for a league of muscle-bound, shriveled balled, psychopaths. I am just tired of hearing about the story. Here is my solution: Ban the players who cheat, be it through the use of steroids, corked bats or gambling on ones team. Zero tolerance is a draconian measure, but any policy that makes paupers of millionaires is a good thing in my book.

Go to Hell