Wednesday, November 03, 2004

The more things change

The President won, the young vote failed, and I couldn't be happier. Vote or die, huh? There is some hope left for this country when MTV fails to significantly influence the election. Of course, Evangelical Christians did play a major part, which drives many of you crazy. Right or wrong--religious folk still have a huge role to play in America and are an incredibly formidable force when mobilized. The same can't be said about college educated twenty-some things. Anyway...

The word magnanimous was used several times last night by several different television news sources. The one universal constant was how it was used: Bush should be magnanimous in his apparent victory. Personally, I would have released a statement saying, "Go to hell, and suck my inflamed donkey scrotum. I win." In retrospect, I am glad the President opted to accept his victory in a "magnanimous" manner. Then again, it is job of the bloggers (not me, of course) to act like asswipes--exit polls indeed.

Network Lies?

I was very surprised by the election coverage last night. It was actually fairly good, bloggers aside, and not openly biased, with one major exception. I watched the CBS coverage for a grand total of 5 minutes, during which time Rather made a half dozen offhanded remarks about the Bush campaign, highlighted by a statement that went something like this: The road is filled with carcasses left in the wake of those who disagreed with Karl Rove. That isn't an exact quote, but it is close. Rather meant it as a compliment. Dan, it is time to go.

Surprisingly, the coverage I enjoyed the most was CNN's. They insisted on calling the race entirely different from NBC, MSNBC, and Fox News. Their take at 4am, at least in terms of projected electoral votes, was so dissimilar to that of the other networks that it looked like they were watching an entirely different election. In their defense, they had Bush most likely winning and were extremely conservative in awarding states--to Bush. Regardless, I actually found Blitzer to be a good host (mind you, it was 4am at the time) and watching Larry King offering his insights on the Electoral College was priceless. Larry isn't very smart, is he?

Do Not Pass Go

I wouldn't want to be Democrat, especially not today. Historically speaking, this is one of the most lopsided National elections ever. Republicans significantly strengthened their hold on the House and Senate. Oh, and if you skipped the first few paragraphs and just woke up from a Sunday nap: President Bush won reelection in a convincing manner. He managed a majority of the popular vote, not a plurality-- which was the norm in recent Presidential elections. Would I call this an absolute victory? No, nor would I use the phrase "mandate of the people." It is a mandate of the majority and should be treated as such. Never forget those who elected you, but more importantly, do not completely disenfranchise those who didn't.

Should the Ass stop wagging his tail? No, not completely, but the bucktooth bastard does need an extreme makeover. Religious white folk (The South/Evangelicals) still play a major role in our country, and with the major gains Bush made with the Latinos, you are in danger of losing the fastest growing minority group. Hispanics tend to be similar to Southern Christians; both are culturally conservative and religiously devout.

You can't be a party of domestic issues divorced from moral realities. You dominated American Politics for decades, in terms of the Congress, because you prided yourself as a party of the common people--you let the Republicans (and, thankfully so) make that their mantra.

Democrats will continue to finish second in a two horse race, as long as they pride themselves on being the party of Organized Labor, Teacher Unions, Intellectuals, and Social Liberals.

? Organized Labor is almost universally corrupt, which most people know and with the departure of millions of manufacturing jobs it has a fraction of its power from its height, thirty years ago--it was once able to put the fix in for Presidential elections, i.e. Kennedy in Cleveland 1960, but not anymore.

? Teacher Unions are nearly as a corrupt as their organized labor brethren, and they stand in the way of vouchers because they call for accountability on the part of educators. The problem is millions of folk without education degrees support the idea of vouchers, or at the very least, want their educators to be held accountable.

? Intellectuals are good for debate, bad for politics. The University may be a bastion of liberal ideology but its influence is limited to the two coasts and major metropolitan areas, and even there, it is still all talk, no action.

? Personally, I am all for the Democrat Parties downward spiral into the far left, however; building a political platform on such loony and vitriol values is a no-win proposition in 90% of the country, not counting San Francisco.

I am not going to offer any solutions, because I want the bad guys to wallow in defeat as long as possible--make masochists out of the whole lot of them.

Nonetheless, there is some joy to be found in Mudville. Barack Obama is the future of your party, or at least he should be, and has almost unlimited political potential. He is well spoken, he is extremely charismatic, and black with an asterisk to boot (although he does speak white). I have no doubt he will litter the roads with carcasses of many a Republican opponent to come.

Tom Daschle lost, which is a major boon for the Democrats. He was combative, non-effective and politically out of touch. The Crats (not the Krauts) can do better than him. Now, if you would just axe Pelosi the Penis Slayer, all would be right in your Congressional party leadership.

My Final Thought

I am absolutely, irrefutably, undeniably, mother-hog licking ecstatic about last nights result. I want to leave you with this thought:

Go to hell, and suck my inflamed donkey scrotum. I win.

If Fox News Says So

Two-Term President

Of course, Kerry could always pick up 80% of the provisional ballots in Ohio. I wouldn't hold your breath, though.

Go to Hell