Tuesday, August 24, 2004

The Devil, Me & Verizon Wireless

I learned long ago that life is not fair. I remember the exact moment this became clear; it was during my sophomore year of high school when I was cut from the junior varsity basketball team. I am the first to admit that I was far from the best player, nor was I the most athletic, but I did try my hardest, out hustled nearly everyone and never complained one bit. All of this would have been moot if I had been the worst player on the team, but I wasn't. One of the kids picked in front of me, was more athletic, much less inclined to work hard and only marginally better than myself. He also quit one week later. Why? Because he couldn't care less about the team, he just tried out as a lark. I knew this would happen when they chose him over me, as did many other people, including a couple assistant coaches. He had a bad attitude, poor ball handling skills and non-existent jump shot, apparently his thirty-six inch vertical made up for those failings. Or, maybe it didn't. So, yes Virginia there is no Santa Claus and your father is diddling the babysitter.

How does this pertain to today's post? It really doesn't, save for the fact that I am well aware of how cruel and unjust the world can be. But not even a jaded soul, like me, could have imagined what occurred today. My cellular phone company, Verizon Wireless, had all of its local numbers drastically changed. How exactly? Whereas my number, along with everyone else, in the area had local phone numbers, they are now considered long distance. Meaning if you want to call me from an Alltel owned land line, which is virtually every land line in a twenty-five mile radius, you have to dial 1-740 and incur long distance charges. What the fuck is that? I called Verizon and they blamed Alltel, citing competitive "differences", and since we all know that Alltel is the Devil, I believe it. Guess what? It doesn't fucking matter what the reason is, my phone number is basically inaccessible to anyone but other cellular users. I can't receive local calls.

Verizon said they would change my number, but at this time there were none available as they were negotiating to purchase more from Alltel. I am not going to hold on my breath on that one. To make matters worse I am locked in a two-year contract with Verizon (I know, stupid me) and the buy-out is something ridiculous like $250.00, even though I actually paid for my phone over a year ago. And, to make matters even worse, if I did opt to buy out the contract and choose another carrier, I still have to change numbers, since my number will forevermore be long distance.

Somehow my number exists in the void, where it is local to none and foreign to all. God hates me. Can you blame him?

Go to Hell