Wednesday, July 02, 2003

I found this link at my buddy’s blog. Jesus H. Blimpie Jumbotron Christ......I am almost speechless. According to the web counter several other people have sallied on over to this page, god help them. This kid is the reason why I am adopting Asian babies. I will have the option to pick out a couple of beautiful, brilliant children who will one day make me millions.

Of course Lyle Lovett’s and Sandra Bernhard's child will probably end up with a better job and hotter spouse then Bob.

God damn it.


(edited July 3, 2003)

Ok after doing a little more research, which amounted to reading the message board on the above link, I have lost all hope. The aforementioned site is scary enough (and yes i know it is a joke) but the forum postings associated with it are at best criminally incriminating. There are some sick fuckers out there. Good thing the apocolypse is upon us. First sign was the end of Buffy. You are forewarned.

By the way look for a website next week. I have read a How To on HTML And XHTML book. Thus far I have finished 400/600 pages and am fairly confident in my ability to produce a wretched pile of shit.


Go to hell
Day 2 at work was boring. We spent 8 hours going over eight pages of material. I can sum it all up in one sentence. Don't steal, cheat or look at female employees asses otherwise you will be fired. Also, it was revealed my trainer has no college education. She has trouble passing classes on Phoenix Online. I know that college shouldn't matter, actually fuck that. A four year degree from a fairly reputable institution should mean something. Couple the trainer with the significant number of recent high school graduates in my group and it appears that I may be overqualified.

If the job doesn't require any collegiate work, which obviously it doesn’t, then why am I here. Furthermore the company doesn't seem to care about post high school education. So, I am four years behind everyone else working at the company. Hell maybe they do know more than I, but based on reading most of the training manual, there doesn't seem to be a lot to it. You call someone, inform them their account is delinquent, listen to a bullshit excuse, and restate in polite persuasive fashion that they still need to pay on the account. A trained parrot could handle this job with ease. Before anyone states that collections is much more intensive then that, or success requires more then just a firm speaking voice, you are stupid and wrong. Everyone I have met in the department thus far, ranging from floor employees to management, is inarticulate and slow witted. Basically I am surrounded by a sea of morons, who all make significantly more money then I ever will. The real kicker is that my degree and more importantly innate intelligence/superiority mean virtually nothing. As I stated earlier I am at least several years behind everyone working here because they opted out of college and instead decided to get knocked up. (my trainer’s story)

I am not bitter, not at all. Fucking teachers, parents and professors claiming an education was important. I was so much happier not being employed and largely ignorant to my lot in the working world. Two days in equates to forty-eight hours of misery. Forget what I said about being apathetic, because not applying oneself is so much more fulfilling.

Shoot me, or at least recommend a better job. Seriously I will work for minimum wage if the occupation requires a degree. It may be worthless but fuck being four years behind everyone else because they were too stupid, stoned, or impregnated to pursue an education.

By the way the above post doesn't apply to my friends. Problem is you are probably not my friend. (Josh, Travis, Chris, associated girlfriends/boyfriends are excluded from today's discussion)

go to hell