Sunday, April 27, 2003

I had a fairly entertaining Saturday. First, I spent a couple hours watching people play in a video game tournament. During this time span I came to a couple remarkable conclusions. # 1 I am the type of person who finds value in watching others play video games, and # 2 I am a complete jack-ass because of reason # 1. After that I hung out with my buddy Travis. We then went to the movies with a couple more friends. On the way to the theatre I had a special moment of clarity, one that drove my thinking the rest of the night. I like women, and do in fact want to share a coital embrace with one in the very near future. As the night went on it became apparent that 14 year old girls are way too mature looking for my own good, and that I really need to get a chick. However, getting the chick is a problematic endeavor because women are evil soul-sucking whores. Now, you may question my dedication in finding a women, since it seem that I hold them in such low esteem. Yet, despite my obvious disdain for pandora box opening femi-nazis I still have an uncontrollable attraction towards them. Therefore it is necessary for me to get past my "minor issues" in order to find a young lady. That is only the first part of the solution. As I recalled past flings with bearded fat lesbian women, it dawned on me that I do not attract a very high quality type of female. I need to rectify this issue, and find a way to attract a semi-appealing member of the opposite sex. Right now my theory is I am too loud, fat and bitter whereas women want jack-ass, skinny and stupid in their love-interests. So, I need to work on being more like Ryan Seacrest and less like Cartman. Though it would be much simpler if cute (or really any girl sub 300 lbs girl with no breasts under their arms) would get past being stuck-up egocentric, sluts from the 14th layer of hell and take me as I am. Since, I am willing to get past their aforementioned negative qualities; they should in turn overlook my minor handicaps.


well I hope you enjoyed my little postulation and if not

you are probably a skank-ho

so

go to hell