Tuesday, January 25, 2005

I don't want to be a baby's mamma

I was thinking about pregnancy, how I didn't want to get pregnant, and if it was possible to self-impregnate. I know that is unlikely for a man to impregnate himself, but one can never be too careful. As you very well know--or at least should know by reading through the archives of my blog--I am not prepared (fit) for parenthood. Therefore, I must strive to prevent a little Bob from entering the world. I concluded that Yasmin , the #1 brand of birth control, is my best bet to prevent pregnancy; if that fails, there is always the forceps-to-the-skull option.

After researching the benefits of Yasmin, I was surprised to discover that it doesn't prevent sexually transmitted disease-- HIV being the notable example. Now, I don't know about you, but my sex-ed teacher said that birth control is the cure-all and end-all to my sexual promiscuity worries. Then again, I am pretty sure I can't catch a sexually transmittable disease from myself--I consider the sores, similar as they may be, on my genital region and inside my mouth to be mere coincidence.

Just remember: The pill can prevent pregnancy, but it can't protect you from your penis falling off--oh, and it causes bloating, not to mention cervical cancer (I am not sure if I have a cervix or not).

Go to Hell