There will be no new trailer for Bob. Dad and I went to the zoning board of appeals, which is usually just a formality, to present our request for a variance. You see Newark doesn't like trailers within the city limits, unless located in a designated trailer park. However, since we had an existing trailer on the property, it is customary to allow the owner to place a new one on the lot. We were told from the very beginning that there would be no problem with our proposal. Obviously the zoning department failed to take into consideration the crazy fucks that live in this neighborhood. Two neighbors, out several dozen, showed up and voiced complaints. Basically what they said was "We don't like the eyesore that is there now so we don't want you to put a new one on there unless it meets our standards." The board president tried to explain that by putting a new trailer on the lot, the old one, which offended there delicate sensibilities, would be removed. Sadly, the old couple and the aging hippie didn't grasp that concept. They thought by denying us a permit that we would magically removed the old trailer just because. I tried to be diplomatic but it was to no avail. We needed everyone on the panel to approve it, so a majority or even a super majority as we had, would not suffice. One member felt that even one complaint was reason enough to deny the permit. Dad stormed out but did manage to level a few choice words at our "neighbors".
I have several problems with the situation above. First and foremost how is anything ever accomplished in this city, at least in terms of zoning issues, if you have to accommodate every fucking lunatic in the area. The above example perfectly illustrates this point and furthermore exemplifies the utter stupidity of my neighborhood. To make matters worse the hippie, who commonly, as in bi-monthly, builds projects in his yard without proper zoning documentation. In other words he is a big fat stupid hypocrite. On the other hand the old couple who complained live a street and half over, they can't even see the trailer from there property. The whole process beams with idiocy, which really I should expect by now living in this area. Finally, I still can't understand why they wouldn't want a new twenty to thirty thousand dollar manufactured home in their "neighborhood." Most of the homes in this area are not worth twenty thousand dollars. Therefore property values would not have been adversely affected. And, logically even if they were, a new trailer would increase the surrounding value since it would have replaced a forty-five year old one.
Usually, I only half heartedly wish damnation on others but in this case I sincerely hope spend eternity in the fiery pit, or at the very least spend their remaining days on Earth in constant, agonizing pain that slowly drives them insane.
Go to Hell