Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Park Place Antiques Theater

Presents: The case for femicide

Woman: Can I see that pin.

Me: This pin?

Woman: No, not that one. I want the one shaped like butterfly.

Me: Ok, here you go.

Woman: Could you take less? (The pin's price: $2.00)

Me: I can't really discount items below $10.00.

Woman: Well...I don't want it then. How about I give you $1.00 for it.

Me: I thought you didn't want it.

Woman: I don't want it at $2.00, though I will definitely take it at $1.00.

Me: It costs $2.00. If you buy more costume jewelry, I would consider giving a discount on the total sale.

Woman: Well...I don't want it then. Can I see the bar pin?

Woman's Friend: Leave the poor boy alone. He doesn't want to bother with us.

Woman: What? He doesn't have anything better to do. We are the highlight of his day.

I contemplated bludgeoning her fat head in-- the problem was that I couldn't find a construct large enough for the task. In lieu of criminal assault, I opted to help the insipid bitch. She spent over thirty minutes looking over costume jewelry, none of which was priced over $3.00. Eventually she-who-justifies-assisted-homicide walked out with $5.00 in merchandise, her purchase consisted of two pins, one ring and a not so small part of my dignity.

Go To Hell