Tuesday, May 27, 2003

What am I to do with my life? Where am I heading? Why am I here? Who shot JFK?

These are all very important questions and save for the last one (A Human Alien Hybrid raised by Appalachian folk did it) seem to be unanswerable. I can't figure out what to do with myself. Working seems out of the question due to my genetic tendency to be fat and lazy. Partying is also out of the question because drunken Bob often leads to nearly killed or incarcerated Bob. Volunteering would work if I didn't hate all the retarded, poor, old and sick people. In jest my brother-in-law recommended writing a book, one that shares my profound wisdom. A wonderful idea in theory except it would require untold hours of intellectual straining and work. Then again I could just skip right to a cliff notes version. One could argue that this web log is in fact a watered down version of my philosophy. I stay away from overly heady material due to likelihood that you, my loyal readers, are stupid but by in large these entries provide an accurate portrayal of my way of thought. Or maybe not. Superficially and really deep down Bob is a nice guy. The ego maniacal asshole persona only exerts itself when I write and take part in high brow conversation for prolong periods of time. Oddly enough I don't even believe evil exists on an ontological level, and subsequently denying the existence of hell.

In other words

deep down I really love all of you

but shoving those gay/womanly feelings aside

I still hate you

so

go to hell (be it illusionary or substantive)