Sunday, May 30, 2004

I have garnered a bit of publicity from the Wikepedia incident. Instead of the usual four to five people who read my posts, several hundred have stopped by. This influx of traffic is due, in large part, to direct links in several internet forums. As a service to these first time, and hopefully only time, visitors I am going to provide some background information so that they don't come away with the wrong impression of me.

I take this blog very seriously. Much of what is written here is, in fact, the whole truth. Well, except for the parts that relies on lies and clever uses of hyperbole. I know that you are used to accurate, mature and factual nature of the online forum community, so I hope you feel right at home here. This perfectly segues into another issue that needs to be explored. Is this site a self-effacing parody, one that exists only to entertain or is it the ranting of a bitter misanthrope who truly wishes the worst for each and everyone of you, and in fact hopes you spend your lives blessed with anal herpes that only breakout while in the throes of sexual passion and during the consumption of chocolate? The answer can be summed up in a simple but all encompassing answer: Yes.

One forum thread in particular caught my eye, as it dealt with the picture in the upper right hand corner. One of the esteemed members of El Saano felt that my hate filled rhetoric stemmed from my need for facial reconstructive surgery. Let me first assure you that is my picture in the upper right hand corner. Although I can understand why one would assume, based on that picture alone, that Bob spends his free time in a French Cathedral, the truth is that Bob is big sexy bitch. In fact Fiwer (the forum handle of the person in question) if given a chance I would most assuredly fuck your mother and most likely have your father eat out my ass shortly thereafter, due to my innate sexy bitchness.

Of course there is much more to I Hate you then what has been written here but I don't want to take up too much more of your precious time. I understand that those who follow the call of the forum troll have better things to do then read my blog. I wish you all the best, especially with your severe skin problems and predilection for Tentacle-related Hentai. And, I want to leave you, the internet forum community, with the following

Please do give your mothers a kiss for me, tell your fathers to wipe the shit off their faces and most importantly

Go to Hell

Saturday, May 29, 2004

Bob has a job. It isn't a good job. In fact, it is a shitty a job. But, it is a job nonetheless. Assuming the Denison Islamic Student Association doesn't blow up downtown Newark, I start June 7th.

Last time I started a "real" job I lasted six weeks, which didn't help the resume so much, this time I plan on staying at least two months. By the age of thirty, I hope to have at least one year of work experience under my belt. Then again, I could simply let a company suck my soul dry, and strive for a career in corporate middle management.

What does this mean to you? Well, Bob having a job means really only one thing:

The terrorits have won.

Go to Hell

Thursday, May 27, 2004

I am officially boycotting "The Free Encyclopedia". I entered my name into the database, which you can still find for the time being under Robert Kyle Wilson, as a lark. Apparently several people, who have way too much time on their hands, took exception with my work. The sanctity of "their" project is above reproach, so my self-effacing humor is not welcome

They need to get a life.

Go to Hell

Monday, May 24, 2004

Irony only begins to explain this. I am in the mood to assert power over the opposite sex and apparently I am not alone. The kindly folks at saw fit to link my site under "funlinks(nonfetish)." Apparently domineering perverts think highly of my work.

There is a God.

Go to Hell
I turn twenty-four in little over a month. Odds are I will buy myself a whore. But, instead of engaging in sexual intercourse, I will spend an hour berating here because she is ,in fact, a dirty, dirty whore. I can't wait till June 28th.

Go to Hell

Thursday, May 20, 2004

I am not really happy with the "new and improved" but it will do for now. I have rather enjoyed working with Dreamweaver however; it does have its limits. Namely, how easy it is for the user to forego learning HTML, instead relying on the easy-to-use interface. But, I am far from a webmaster anyway so simplicity, at least in terms of web design, is a major plus.

There is so much I want to bitch about right now but there is one thing that stands out. A young lady actually came looking for Bob but low and behold he was no where to be found. I actually had a decent chance to hang out with a woman but somehow managed to fuck it up. The details don't really matter, sufficed to say I chose an afternoon nap over a lunchtime date.

Fuck me with a rusty spatula.

Go to Hell

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

I picked up a Dreamweaver and Adobe Photoshop over the weekend and am attempting to use them. I am not terribly happy with the website however; it is best I could come up with at one in the morning. Btw if you know how to use an image, i.e. a photoshop mock up, as the background without the loading issue please do tell.

Go to Hell

Thursday, May 13, 2004

I am back. I know you missed me but was it really necessary to bombard my inbox with thousands of emails. This post is dedicated to my loyal fan base. You can't imagine the feeling when one opens up their email client, sees hundreds of new messages, and is greeted by a semi-constant Virus Alert pop-up. However; I did find it odd that most of you were interested in commenting on my penis, in particular its length, and my desire for larger breasts. How did you know?

I am going to do something unprecedented and actually post the names of those who messaged me during my hiatus.

I Hate You Email Honorarium

Blanca Madrid, Cool Stuff, Erin Bain, Jeremy O., intimate assistants, Tadams49, group fun, Vipers_Pit, Mfine109, pure fun, ladies of pleasure, Bradsmith, Valdezja, Christopher37, Leona Fortune, Angela Smith, Willhillwv, Coachslowslow, Vger, backdoor entry, vibekws, 3 at a Time, Tcny420, Asian Hotties, Topcast342, Wannabe Starlets, VickC, Sticky Girls, Emanuel Ellis, Nannie Hampton, Carolyn Espinoza, Otto Mackey, Etta Roth, Marco Parks, Bobmen1000001238, Bobmen10000821, bobmen8131, and last but not definitely not least, Stupid Sluts.

Thanks again for keeping in touch guys, especially Bradsmith, who sent me links to movies involving trannie back-door entries and barn yard “fun”.

Go to Hell