Sunday, May 29, 2005

Forty Inches Down I am a Midget

Sometimes, often when I am in the restroom sitting atop my off-white throne, I fantasize about ruling the world. It is a nice dream that involves torture, filet mignon, nipple tweaking and the elimination of all clown kind. Midgets would run free, monkeys would carry knives and women would massage the excess skin on the underside of my knees. What a dystopian paradise it would be.