Two posts in one day. Wow, I must be really bored.

I am a digital voyeur. Trust me the title sounds a lot more interesting than it really is. I don't place cameras in women's restrooms, I don't peek through windows at the neighbor's teenage daughter, if only my disorder was so visually fulfilling. Real voyeurs (Did I just write "real voyeurs," it is a sad day when you can't even claim the title social deviant) watch actual life being lived, I get my kicks off reading what others write about life. I don't like watching sports, but I am all for reading sports columns. Bedding a woman is too much effort, rather I read about it on erotic stories websites (at the very least, I am still a socially recognized pervert.) Interacting with friends and family takes away from my me time, instead I opt to read online blogs and journals. I like to call it the vicarious life.

My high speed connection was terminated a couple months back; this has severely limited my voyeuristic opportunities. Thank God for the newspaper, cable news and imaginary friends, most notably Richard Irksome and Bethany Gonealltheway. Though, I am seriously considering leaving my tin-foil roof abode and venturing out into the wilds that is Newark. I will need to start slowly, perhaps a trip to Wal-Mart is in order.

Simply put, I need to get a life and/or laid--of course, I am assuming one doesn't precipitate the other.


Go to Hell