I am back, long time no see. I wonder how everyone has been since I last posted. Hopefully everyone has felt as bad as me. I spent seven weeks working for Satan. The job was humiliating enough, collecting money from people is only slightly more rewarding then performing telemarketing cold calls. The real kicker was when I convinced an elderly woman to pay her credit card bill instead of the mortgage. That occurred several weeks ago, and ever since I have felt absolutely wretched. On the one hand knowing I still have a conscious is a good thing, however as usual it served as a major hindrance in my personal development. How will I ever reach the top of the business world with this incessant feeling of guilt holding me down. Of course I long ago rationalized the morality of child slavery, so all is not lost.
Baring any other major life changes, i.e. another job, going back to school, or least likely of all a girlfriend my posts should once again be fairly frequent. I feel very much alive today, much more so then in weeks past, which means I have a lot to bitch about before sinking back into my usual morose state of mediocrity.
By the way
GO TO HELL
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Friday, July 11, 2003
Long time no see. Looks like you missed me, which is understandable due to my sunny disposition. The new job is beneath me, but to be fair most positions would fall into that category. I am still bitter about the 17 year olds making as much as me, and having more growth potential, but life is unfair/fuckingretarded sometimes.
Honestly, work could be significantly worse. On the one hand the company is not taking advantage of my potential, on the other hand they are paying me more then McDonalds (though not much more). Got to look for the silver lining in every cloud even if it is an acid rain causing one. The worst part has been the constant barrage of stupid questions and asinine videos. Treating me like an intellectual toddler does tend to irritate/pissmethefuckoff. Of course my parents have been very helpful. My mom keeps calling me a pussy for complaining, while dad gets angry about giving me money to pay bills. I understand my mom's position, she is a crazy bitch. But, dad getting pissed about spotting me for a couple weeks is nearly unforgivable. In order to take this job, I had to pretty much quit helping him. Since he pushed me to become gainfully employed, I assumed the "me" not working for him was understood. Also, as I told him early last week the Human Resource Department, i.e. spawn of hell, would not have me entered in payroll in time to get a check by the next payment cycle. So, instead of being paid on the 16th (which’s 18 days from my start date) I have to wait until the end of the 31st for my first check. Problem is I have bills to pay before then. Dad didn't seem to care. He keeps demanding I work for him, but the aforementioned job/finaldeathblowtothesoul prevents that from happening. Basically all this means I have no money to pay bills or even go to work. After literally begging for several hours I did manage to score enough cash to pay for gas over the next week, though eating would not be a viable option.
Now, some of you might counter that I should have been prepared (I didn't want the job, was threatened with bodily harm if I didn't take it) or at the very least resort to credit cards to get me by. Well, thankfully several months ago I tore up all my cards, save for one which I let DAD FUCKING USE for his auction. Recently I took that card back, unbeknownst to him, and did use it to buy toilet paper today (I have literally showered after every shit since last week due to my inability to afford toilet paper). Basically, I am not terribly pleased with the parental units at the moment and rightfully so. Also, I learned my brother-in-law/sister told my dad they could get me a good job but think I am way too unreliable. This is probably true, but at my age both of them were far from wise, respectable, and reliable workers themselves, based on their own personal anecdotes. As usual they are trying to keep the white man down so I will have to deal with and stop being a pussy. God I love my mom.
Well I am off to use the credit card to buy a pizza and then take a nice long pooh. God, I love toilet paper even more then my mom.
go to hell
Honestly, work could be significantly worse. On the one hand the company is not taking advantage of my potential, on the other hand they are paying me more then McDonalds (though not much more). Got to look for the silver lining in every cloud even if it is an acid rain causing one. The worst part has been the constant barrage of stupid questions and asinine videos. Treating me like an intellectual toddler does tend to irritate/pissmethefuckoff. Of course my parents have been very helpful. My mom keeps calling me a pussy for complaining, while dad gets angry about giving me money to pay bills. I understand my mom's position, she is a crazy bitch. But, dad getting pissed about spotting me for a couple weeks is nearly unforgivable. In order to take this job, I had to pretty much quit helping him. Since he pushed me to become gainfully employed, I assumed the "me" not working for him was understood. Also, as I told him early last week the Human Resource Department, i.e. spawn of hell, would not have me entered in payroll in time to get a check by the next payment cycle. So, instead of being paid on the 16th (which’s 18 days from my start date) I have to wait until the end of the 31st for my first check. Problem is I have bills to pay before then. Dad didn't seem to care. He keeps demanding I work for him, but the aforementioned job/finaldeathblowtothesoul prevents that from happening. Basically all this means I have no money to pay bills or even go to work. After literally begging for several hours I did manage to score enough cash to pay for gas over the next week, though eating would not be a viable option.
Now, some of you might counter that I should have been prepared (I didn't want the job, was threatened with bodily harm if I didn't take it) or at the very least resort to credit cards to get me by. Well, thankfully several months ago I tore up all my cards, save for one which I let DAD FUCKING USE for his auction. Recently I took that card back, unbeknownst to him, and did use it to buy toilet paper today (I have literally showered after every shit since last week due to my inability to afford toilet paper). Basically, I am not terribly pleased with the parental units at the moment and rightfully so. Also, I learned my brother-in-law/sister told my dad they could get me a good job but think I am way too unreliable. This is probably true, but at my age both of them were far from wise, respectable, and reliable workers themselves, based on their own personal anecdotes. As usual they are trying to keep the white man down so I will have to deal with and stop being a pussy. God I love my mom.
Well I am off to use the credit card to buy a pizza and then take a nice long pooh. God, I love toilet paper even more then my mom.
go to hell
Wednesday, July 02, 2003
I found this link at my buddy’s blog. Jesus H. Blimpie Jumbotron Christ......I am almost speechless. According to the web counter several other people have sallied on over to this page, god help them. This kid is the reason why I am adopting Asian babies. I will have the option to pick out a couple of beautiful, brilliant children who will one day make me millions.
Of course Lyle Lovett’s and Sandra Bernhard's child will probably end up with a better job and hotter spouse then Bob.
God damn it.
(edited July 3, 2003)
Ok after doing a little more research, which amounted to reading the message board on the above link, I have lost all hope. The aforementioned site is scary enough (and yes i know it is a joke) but the forum postings associated with it are at best criminally incriminating. There are some sick fuckers out there. Good thing the apocolypse is upon us. First sign was the end of Buffy. You are forewarned.
By the way look for a website next week. I have read a How To on HTML And XHTML book. Thus far I have finished 400/600 pages and am fairly confident in my ability to produce a wretched pile of shit.
Go to hell
Of course Lyle Lovett’s and Sandra Bernhard's child will probably end up with a better job and hotter spouse then Bob.
God damn it.
(edited July 3, 2003)
Ok after doing a little more research, which amounted to reading the message board on the above link, I have lost all hope. The aforementioned site is scary enough (and yes i know it is a joke) but the forum postings associated with it are at best criminally incriminating. There are some sick fuckers out there. Good thing the apocolypse is upon us. First sign was the end of Buffy. You are forewarned.
By the way look for a website next week. I have read a How To on HTML And XHTML book. Thus far I have finished 400/600 pages and am fairly confident in my ability to produce a wretched pile of shit.
Go to hell
Day 2 at work was boring. We spent 8 hours going over eight pages of material. I can sum it all up in one sentence. Don't steal, cheat or look at female employees asses otherwise you will be fired. Also, it was revealed my trainer has no college education. She has trouble passing classes on Phoenix Online. I know that college shouldn't matter, actually fuck that. A four year degree from a fairly reputable institution should mean something. Couple the trainer with the significant number of recent high school graduates in my group and it appears that I may be overqualified.
If the job doesn't require any collegiate work, which obviously it doesn’t, then why am I here. Furthermore the company doesn't seem to care about post high school education. So, I am four years behind everyone else working at the company. Hell maybe they do know more than I, but based on reading most of the training manual, there doesn't seem to be a lot to it. You call someone, inform them their account is delinquent, listen to a bullshit excuse, and restate in polite persuasive fashion that they still need to pay on the account. A trained parrot could handle this job with ease. Before anyone states that collections is much more intensive then that, or success requires more then just a firm speaking voice, you are stupid and wrong. Everyone I have met in the department thus far, ranging from floor employees to management, is inarticulate and slow witted. Basically I am surrounded by a sea of morons, who all make significantly more money then I ever will. The real kicker is that my degree and more importantly innate intelligence/superiority mean virtually nothing. As I stated earlier I am at least several years behind everyone working here because they opted out of college and instead decided to get knocked up. (my trainer’s story)
I am not bitter, not at all. Fucking teachers, parents and professors claiming an education was important. I was so much happier not being employed and largely ignorant to my lot in the working world. Two days in equates to forty-eight hours of misery. Forget what I said about being apathetic, because not applying oneself is so much more fulfilling.
Shoot me, or at least recommend a better job. Seriously I will work for minimum wage if the occupation requires a degree. It may be worthless but fuck being four years behind everyone else because they were too stupid, stoned, or impregnated to pursue an education.
By the way the above post doesn't apply to my friends. Problem is you are probably not my friend. (Josh, Travis, Chris, associated girlfriends/boyfriends are excluded from today's discussion)
go to hell
If the job doesn't require any collegiate work, which obviously it doesn’t, then why am I here. Furthermore the company doesn't seem to care about post high school education. So, I am four years behind everyone else working at the company. Hell maybe they do know more than I, but based on reading most of the training manual, there doesn't seem to be a lot to it. You call someone, inform them their account is delinquent, listen to a bullshit excuse, and restate in polite persuasive fashion that they still need to pay on the account. A trained parrot could handle this job with ease. Before anyone states that collections is much more intensive then that, or success requires more then just a firm speaking voice, you are stupid and wrong. Everyone I have met in the department thus far, ranging from floor employees to management, is inarticulate and slow witted. Basically I am surrounded by a sea of morons, who all make significantly more money then I ever will. The real kicker is that my degree and more importantly innate intelligence/superiority mean virtually nothing. As I stated earlier I am at least several years behind everyone working here because they opted out of college and instead decided to get knocked up. (my trainer’s story)
I am not bitter, not at all. Fucking teachers, parents and professors claiming an education was important. I was so much happier not being employed and largely ignorant to my lot in the working world. Two days in equates to forty-eight hours of misery. Forget what I said about being apathetic, because not applying oneself is so much more fulfilling.
Shoot me, or at least recommend a better job. Seriously I will work for minimum wage if the occupation requires a degree. It may be worthless but fuck being four years behind everyone else because they were too stupid, stoned, or impregnated to pursue an education.
By the way the above post doesn't apply to my friends. Problem is you are probably not my friend. (Josh, Travis, Chris, associated girlfriends/boyfriends are excluded from today's discussion)
go to hell
Monday, June 30, 2003
Ok, maybe I exaggerated a wee bit about my relative position in life. Though, it really doesn't matter. Juxtaposing ones self worth against the accomplishment of others is fool hardy. I need to judge life against my own expectations. I am not a total failure. But, I am not a resounding success either. The more I think about it my greatest fear is failing. Whether it concerns work, friends, family, leisure or love I am so afraid of rejection that any opportunity for success or happiness is precluded. In other words I have chosen to do nothing at all with my life rather then chance any sort of failure. Obviously, as usual, my logic is skewed. Greatness affords itself to only those willing to face utter despair. Enough with this nonsensical doublespeak, I am starting to make myself think.
I am very fortunate to have people who do care about me. Whether or not it is deserved I can't say but I do greatly appreciate it.
Oh by the way I did start the new job. I am not going to comment about it, because I want to maintain a positive attitude. Though, today amongst the other trainees was the first time I ever actually felt old. Half the damn room just graduated high school. Now I know college is a stupid idea. Could have become a collections agent straight out of diapers it seems.
oh well it could be worse. At least I am not cursed with lycanthrope and subsequently forced to live a life in sin practicing the furry fetish.
go to hell
I am very fortunate to have people who do care about me. Whether or not it is deserved I can't say but I do greatly appreciate it.
Oh by the way I did start the new job. I am not going to comment about it, because I want to maintain a positive attitude. Though, today amongst the other trainees was the first time I ever actually felt old. Half the damn room just graduated high school. Now I know college is a stupid idea. Could have become a collections agent straight out of diapers it seems.
oh well it could be worse. At least I am not cursed with lycanthrope and subsequently forced to live a life in sin practicing the furry fetish.
go to hell
Sunday, June 29, 2003
Saturday, June 28, 2003
Birthday's suck, or mine does. Turning 23 is of no real importance, hell the next big event associated with my birthday is when I get a car insurance break at age 25. But it is still customary to feel somewhat happy on the anniversary of ones birth. I didn't even get a damn cake. The parents did take me to Red Lobster, and I did get a pair of cheap leather shoes from Payless Shoe Store.
Today is very depressing.
Thank God I won't have to deal with this shit of a day for another year.
It's my birthday and I will cry if I want to.
Today is very depressing.
Thank God I won't have to deal with this shit of a day for another year.
It's my birthday and I will cry if I want to.
Friday, June 27, 2003
I am officially on strike from my family. On Thursday the parents decided to blame me for my little brother’s problems. At first they only insinuated that I was the reason he acted like Satan's bastard child. However, five minutes into the conversation blatant accusations were being tossed my direction. Damian, i.e. the eater of worlds, is a problem child. There is no doubt about it. But, placing fault on my feet is akin to blaming Poland for World War Two.
I am just a stupid bastard who puts up with the dark one's behavior since I am too weak to do anything about it. Long ago father threatened physical harm if I disciplined Beelzebub. Due to my absolute fear of being pummeled I have not laid a finger on my brother, even when a caning was due. Somehow I am the problem now. Stupid bastards.
Yet, all is not lost in the land of Bob. In order to prevent further contamination of Shaitan, I have pledged to stay completely away from him. Also, to be certain my dastardly ways do not filter to him through my parents; I will no longer interact with the mommy and daddy as well.
By the way I turn 23 tomorrow, another year closer to massive heart failure.
Go to hell
I am just a stupid bastard who puts up with the dark one's behavior since I am too weak to do anything about it. Long ago father threatened physical harm if I disciplined Beelzebub. Due to my absolute fear of being pummeled I have not laid a finger on my brother, even when a caning was due. Somehow I am the problem now. Stupid bastards.
Yet, all is not lost in the land of Bob. In order to prevent further contamination of Shaitan, I have pledged to stay completely away from him. Also, to be certain my dastardly ways do not filter to him through my parents; I will no longer interact with the mommy and daddy as well.
By the way I turn 23 tomorrow, another year closer to massive heart failure.
Go to hell
Thursday, June 26, 2003
Tuesday, June 24, 2003
Less then a week from now I begin work. Being one of the gainfully employed lemmings makes me feel very sad. My comfortable, albeit tedious existence will forever be marred by joining the workforce. I am still hoping that the company discovers one of the embellishments/bold-faced lies on my resume and promptly rescinds their job offer.
I really don't want to work. I was born to be a layer not a doer.
By the way my dad's website is coming along nicely, even if it looks little childish. I almost did a good job; perhaps shareware ain't so bad after all.
I really don't want to work. I was born to be a layer not a doer.
By the way my dad's website is coming along nicely, even if it looks little childish. I almost did a good job; perhaps shareware ain't so bad after all.
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